if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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