Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i out mim tonsoeep
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