Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
