Having a random hookup so left but love u
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
a search helicopter?!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
