all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
