I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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