Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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