I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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