oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
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