Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize