Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
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He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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