so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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