i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
