My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
