Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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