dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
