idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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