don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
