i permit you to call me
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
