Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize