you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
