You just made me feel so damn special
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
