Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize