her vagine was all disorganized.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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