Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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