when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
