Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
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Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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