her vagine was all disorganized.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
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It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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