im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
