I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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