did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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