When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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