you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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