i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
