oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sorry my hands just texted you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
