i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
