My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
