idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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