there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
