don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize