So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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