he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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