The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
