holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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