My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
