"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
someone owes me an orgasm
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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