What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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