did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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