WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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