Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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