Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's rum buckets o'clock
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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