Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
