he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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