Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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