so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
