You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
