Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
