hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
