Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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