Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
